equillibrium

I got an A for English Literature, a B for Sociology and a C for History. I am now onto the last level of my courses. To be honest, I thought that my last year of school would be great, but right now, it's been just okay or sometimes great. Most days are somewhat fun and always bearable. I don't talk to a lot of people I like though, which I hopefully can rectify. It's just that I feel a little awkward around them, and by comparison I feel okay around one of my older friends from my sixth form. So I end up always talking to her, really. I should probably introduce her to my classmates, but I don't hang out with them at all, so wouldn't it be awkward? I like all of my classes, or can at least tolerate them. One good thing is that I'm in a 'World Cinema Club' right now, so I get to watch foreign films every Wednesday afternoon. I've liked most of the films we've watched, so I'm enjoying myself.

Today is the internal deadline at my school for my university application. I have not sent it to my head of year yet. I feel a little uneasy, but not as apprehensive about giving it in as I thought I would be. I'm slightly worried that I may be over-confident. The university that I would love to go to is asking for ABB from all of its candidates, but my predicted grades are ABC. It does not help that the C is for history, which I am applying for at university. I'm having a letter of recommendation along with my reference and Personal Statement though, so that may tip the scales in my favour.

( Thoughts on 'Othello' and 'A Doll's House' )

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: bedroom, home, England
Current Music: The Big Bang Theory

I ended up not going to Bangladesh as a result of finding out that I had to have a retinal detachment surgery.. As it causes loss of vision and the solutions to it only restore most of what you had, it was fortunate that they found it so early. I recovered quickly from the operation - my vision was quite severely blurred for two weeks - which was good, because it was so boring not being able to do much. I missed school too, just because I felt so unproductive. Additionally, I could not get water into my eye, so I had to be very careful, but my mother took this upon herself for quite a few weeks, which I found very sad to watch. I had another operation on the 19th of July, to remove the oil bubble they used to keep the retina in place, but instead they had to put another gas bubble in my eye. It's only been a few days but I'm getting a little bored. I can't wait until it disappears [since the gas bubble disappears by itself over 4 or more weeks, typically], so I can go back to my normal activities.

My cousin sister and her daughter are coming to our house for a week. Since it is Ramadan and most of us are fasting, I am kind of dreading it, because my niece is loud and I'm not sure how much I will be able to play with her. Then again, maybe it would be fun.

Current Mood: awake
Current Location: my bedroom, home, England
Current Music: nothing

Hello all!

First of all, Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it and a Happy New Year to all! I am now officially 18.
I really don't feel like I'm nearing adulthood. My level of maturity rises and drops with certain situation and I feel more like a child thanks to my insecurity. I have a short temper which I need to work on amongst other things. I have a few goals that I want to take care of this year that I didn't do last year which are:

* Become more knowledgeable about my religion so I can begin to see whether I really want to be a Muslim
* Learn to do more things around the house like laundry
* Watch the news more often so I'm aware of current events/maybe be more politically active
* Figure out what the hell I want to do for a degree and research thoroughly into it
* Take care of myself more by eating more healthily and taking up more exercise

It's going to be hard but God willing, I can pull it off. I really feel the top 3 are the most important right now, I'm working on the last one.

Current Mood: blank
Current Location: living room, home, England
Current Music: clock ticking

I decided that I would retaking AS year of History and English Literature as well as picking up Sociology. I decided to drop Biology as I was not very interested in it. I am loving it so far; I am really liking AS Sociology and I think I've made some friends who seem very cool and interesting.

I'm also a part of an 'Improvisation Masterclass' where we improve our improvisation skills by playing a lot of improvisation games such as 'Freeze'; in which you and another person have to make a scene on the spot until someone says 'Freeze' and has to change the scene completely. It is supposed to be like 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'. We are putting on a show near the end of term and I'm really excited, though a little scared of letting people see me up on stage.

I also signed up for being a Reading Mentor to a younger pupil which means that I correct their reading and try to help them enjoy reading. It is a job that I am really excited about though my assigned pupil has not been in for the last two sessions.

Lastly, I'm going to Bangladesh for three weeks! I am so excited! Dad promised that we would go sight seeing and I for one am anxious to see the country's natural beauty. I want a lot of pictures. I am happy too that my mother, grandmother and father are going because I know they miss it more than I can understand since they grew up there. Maybe I can feel more connected to my culture after I've spent a few weeks there? I don't feel like I am really connected as I was born in Britain so do not know too much of Bengali culture. Whilst this has never a problem for me because I have focused on different goals, I guess it is important. I do not know why, but it feels sort of wrong to say 'I guess it is important'.

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Location: living room, home, England

Finished 'Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations' today.

Excuse me while I go and immerse myself in fic to ease the pain. I am looking forward to the next game though...I kind of wish it wasn't a sequel and more of a spinff. I will no doubt miss every character very much...though Ema is back in AA4.

Also, school is officially open for me in around 6 days time. I am excited a bit to go back, since I haven't seen anyone since it closed. I say 'a bit' because I'm probably doing the same History course as I did the previous school year, though in English, it might have changed a bit. I know for certain that we're not doing the same poetry collection as before, though it is by the same poet, namely Carol Ann Duffy so I am excited.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: home, England

I got my results on Thursday the 16th of August. Surprisingly, I was calm for once whilst I got it. Maybe that should have been a sign. Anyway, my big brother came with me even though it was under 8 minutes away, for moral support. :)

I got a C for English Literature, and Ds for both History and Biology. They were high Ds though, which I found out later. I was really shocked as to how badly I did in Biology and English Literature as I had been expecting a B or an A hopefully, and I still don't know how I managed to do so badly though I was preoccupied with not trying to cough during one of my Biology exams.

I admit, I cried quite a bit out of shock. I had never done so badly. I think I might try to get my papers back to see what I did wrong.

I'm retaking the year with History and English but with Sociology instead of Biology, God willing. I dropped Biology because it wasn't nearly as interesting as Sociology seems to be and those free periods I get due to doing only 3 A levels are going to come in handy, especially close to exam time.

I just need to see whether or not I can still have a place at my current sixth form as the year 11s who have graduated secondary school [juniors are what they would be called according to the American education system, I believe] are given higher priority for seats instead of those retaking the year. It's highly likely that I will get a place, but I'm still worrying over that small percentage that would mean that I wouldn't be able to.

God willing I will. I'll most likely post about it.

***
( Thoughts on characters in cases 3:3 and some of 3:5 )( Thoughts on 'Trauma Centre 2' )

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: home, England

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: house, England
Current Music: nothing

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